Lawrence I. Miller CHT C.I.
The purpose of protections is to protect us from getting hurt and they are used in hundreds of creative ways to keep people at a distance, to not allow people to get to close. I am listing a couple of simple protections in order for the reader to get an idea as to what protections look like and consist of, shyness, perfectionist, procrastination and anger. At the end of the chapter there is a complete list of protections.
Ninety five percent of our protections were formed when we were children. This time period is from the time we were conceived to an age between 9 to 12 years old. This is the time when our subconscious mind is completely exposed to our outside world and since its biggest jobs are to protect us, it sets up protections against our getting hurt during those early years.
When we are born 100 percent of us come into the world without any protections, beliefs or fears at all. That makes us vulnerable to anything and everything around us; we are unprotected and can get hurt very easy. Although, there are people that believe in past lives who may believe that we bring into this life issues that were not solved in our past lives. I do not have any beliefs about that one way or another. Anyway, since the main job of the subconscious mind is to protect us, it is ready and waiting for the moment we are conceived to start doing its job. Many of us would not have survived and be here today if the subconscious mind had not been there to protect us as children and set up protections.
When we are born we know nothing, we are totally
vulnerable to everything and everyone around us. It
looks like we have no protection what so ever, but we
do. The protection we have is our subconscious mind
which protects us from the moment we are conceived. I
have had clients that regressed back to the womb where
something happened outside of the womb and the
subconscious mind set up a protection for the unborn
baby. Once we are born the subconscious mind becomes
even more alert and active. I call the subconscious mind
our HARD DRIVE for easy understanding. Whatever is
typed into our hard drive as a child (the subconscious
mind) is there until we die unless we decide to remove
it and we are the only ones that can remove or reprogram
our hard drive.
Whatever programs we type into our hard drive as a child will usually run our lives in a negative way as adults. These programs are called protections which protected us as children but become liabilities and Unwanted Behaviors as adults . There are also beliefs that we type into our hard drive that helps guide us as children but become blocks and walls and limit us as adults. Then there are fears which absolutely stop us in our tracks and keep us at a distance from anything that might hurt us either emotionally or physically. Many fears feel like a panic feeling. So, as unborn babies, new babies and babies up to approximately 2 years old, almost every negative feeling they type into their hard drive will eventually affect them as adults in a negative way, some will become Unwanted Behaviors, some will become blocks and walls and some will show up as a panic feeling which will stop people in their tracks.
As children the subconscious mind sets up protections mostly because of the way the child was treated and how the child perceives the event. Ninety percent of the time the protection was set up because of the way the child was treated by a parent. They are also set up because of something a peer did, something an authority figure did, a teacher did and even something an older or younger sibling did. The subconscious mind sets up the protection because the child was hurt and in most cases emotionally. Emotional protections for instance could come from a parent trying to totally control the child, has high expectations of the child and takes the child's choices away from them, expecting more from what the child can and is willing to do. Being critical regarding everything the child dose, nothing the child dose is good enough, telling the child they will never make anything of their lives, putting the child down in front of other people or their peers and not keeping their word to the child. All of the above situations hurt and these are just a few of the things that someone could do that would cause the child to set up some type of protection subconsciously in order to stop being hurt. There is an unlimited number of things that people can do that will emotionally hurt a child and cause the subconscious mind to protect them with some type of protection. Many of things people do that could hurt children are very subtle and are very hard to detect, even to the point of being impossible to detect. Consciously the child doesn't know they got hurt but the subconscious mind can feel the hurt since it works in feelings. Since the subconscious mind deals with feelings, it immediately starts doing its job by setting up some type of protection against the child feeling the negative feeling in the future.
I want to point out at this time, in most cases people don't even know they did anything that hurt the child. The thing we need to know and be aware of is the child's conscious mind is not mature and they will perceive an event differently than it really was and because of that they think something is wrong with them and that hurts. Most of the things people do that hurt the child they did because of their own protections they set up as a child. Remember protections are created to keep people at a distance so we don't get hurt, they surface automatically when we experience a similar type of event that originally caused the hurt to begin with. When this happens we have no control over the unwanted behavior which actually is the protection, it will protect us no matter whether the person we are involved with is a friend, a spouse or even our children. When the protections surface many of the times they protect us by just hurting the other person so the other person will keep their distance and that's what happens to children, the people that hurt the child doesn't even know they did anything to hurt the child. It was all done unconsciously, but that doesn't matter, the child still got hurt and the subconscious mind was there to protect them by setting up a protection for them in the future.
We must be clear and understand protections because once we type them into our hard drive (subconscious mind) they are there the remainder of our lives. The protection is created by the subconscious mind and the only thing the subconscious mind knows is it has a job to do, and that job is to protect us. It does that through a protection which could be shyness, as mentioned above. The protection that the subconscious mind set up will do its' job until we die no matter what. Once typed in to the hard drive the protection will protect us whether we get involved with a friend, a co-worker, a spouse, a sibling, or a son or daughter. Once typed in the protection does not distinguish the difference between the people. All it knows is it must protect us and it dose that by keeping the other person at a distance no matter what it takes or who it is.
The problem is this, when the child gets hurt for instance from a parents protection, the child types in their own protection because of their being hurt. When the child grows up and they have children they unconsciously hurt their children sometimes in the same way their parent hurt them because of the protection they typed in from their parent. So, the circle goes on and on.
Things change as we become adults, protections are decided upon by both our conscious mind and our subconscious mind but our subconscious mind still creates the protection for us. This happens when we get in a traumatic event, we get extremely scared or we get extremely angry. When this happens the conscious mind opens up, the subconscious mind looks out into our real world to see what it needs to protect us against and what it sees plus whatever the thoughts of the conscious mind are and it creates the new folder for protecting us in the future against a similar type event. The subconscious mind is still the creative part of us. In order for the protection to be programmed into our hard drive (subconscious mind) there has to be an agreement between the two minds. When this agreement is reached the conscious mind then allows the subconscious mind to program the protection it created into our hard drive. (Subconscious mind) These agreements and the creation of the protection only take a millisecond to happen and be programmed in. Here is how it works.
When we are children the subconscious mind is always available, lives in our real world and is waiting in the background ready to protect us if anything comes our way that might mentally or physically hurt us. As children the conscious mind has no say as to whether or not the subconscious mind should set up a protection for us or not so we don't get hurt. As adults it does have a say so as to whether or not the subconscious mind should set up a protection for us but not as a child. Something to remember is this, the conscious mind will decide when we are adults and the subconscious mind no longer live in our real world and the time will be somewhere between the ages of 9 to 12 years old, every one of us is different, it depends how quickly we mature.
Here is an example of how a protection is programmed into our hard drive as children. It happens by one of our parents hurting us emotionally or mentally by making us began to think that every time we do something we do it wrong, nothing we do is right, they are critical. We then keep trying to do things better and better but it doesn't matter, they still yell at us and we are told that what we did was wrong. Depending on the person, and remember, we are all different; the abuse by the parent begins to hurt. When we first hear them making those remarks to us we may or may not think much about it, although for many of us the first time we hear it may hurt enough for the subconscious to program in a protection, others not so much and others not at all. Usually, for the most of us as children, we get hurt quite easily and we begin to think we are no good, we are useless, we never will be able to do anything right and we could even think we are stupid and dumb. When we get to this point the subconscious will program in a protection of some type to keep us from getting hurt.
If we are only thinking thoughts we will not be hurt, it's when the thoughts turn into feelings is when we become hurt. What I am saying is this, when we think thoughts as children nothing is programmed into the subconscious mind. It depends upon how bad we were hurt in the experience that made us think a thought and how bad the thought was. If the experience was not that traumatic and we shrugged it off because it was not bad enough to make us feel hurt, then we will not program any type of protection into our hard drive. (Subconscious mind) When the experience is traumatic enough that our feelings are affected, then we get hurt and that's when our thoughts are combined with our feelings and actually turn our thoughts into hurt feelings. As children at that point, we will program our hard drive to set up some type of protection for us. Just remember our conscious mind talks to us in thoughts and as long as the thoughts are not combined with hurt feelings there is no power because thoughts alone have no power. The subconscious mind talks to us in feelings and feelings are a thousand times more powerful than a thought, that's why and how the protections are set up through feelings because feelings are powerful, feelings actually create the unwanted behavior. The protections are always over someone hurting us through verbal abuse, physical abuse or mental abuse. The ease of a protection being set up subconsciously only happens when we are children. When we are children the subconscious mind is constantly exposed to our outside world ready to do its job and protect us. When we are adults the conscious mind blocks access to the subconscious mind and as a result, the subconscious mind is not constantly exposed to our outside world like it is when we were children.
When we become adults protections are not set up as easily as when we were children. Becoming adults depends upon when our conscious mind feels mature enough to want to take over control to protect us. Until that time the subconscious mind is in control and protecting us by means of programming negative feelings such as shyness, rejection, loneliness or even hopelessness, these feelings become protections and then unwanted behaviors. Once the conscious mind takes over control then the subconscious mind is not exposed to our outside world. It is protected and shut off to our outside world by the conscious mind unless something really traumatic happens to us. For instance, if we would get into a situation where we would experience a very traumatic experience, or we would become panicked or we would get overly angry. When one of these three things happens then conscious mind loses control and the subconscious mind becomes exposed to our outside world again ready to protect us against whatever the hurtful experience is we are experiencing at the moment.
So, as an adult protections can also be programmed into our subconscious mind depending on how traumatic the experience is, but it takes a much more negative experience for the subconscious mind to program in a protection as an adult and since the conscious mind is in control of that operation it now becomes a part of making the decision of allowing the subconscious mind to program in a protection.
As a child it is just the opposite, protections are programmed into our subconscious mind with ease, almost every time something happens that hurts us either emotionally or physically, depending on the child. Because the subconscious mind is always exposed to our outside world as children, it doesn't take much of a hurt and then protections are created easily. When we are abused in just the slightest way through, verbal abuse, physical abuse or mental abuse a protection could be programmed into our hard drive when the subconscious mind feels we been hurt bad enough.
These abuses can happen because of what our parents did, an authority figure did, one of our teachers did, some adult did, one of our peers did and even a sibling did. During the period we are children the subconscious mind is totally in control of protecting us. That's because the conscious mind is immature as a child and it turns over all controls of protections to the subconscious mind.
Here are a few of the feelings that the subconscious mind creates in order to keep someone at a distance and keep us from getting hurt. they are feelings of, anxiety, anxious, angry, panic, shy, rejection, loneliness, and a scared feeling.
At the end of this article there is a feeling list to look over. As you read the feeling words allow yourself to experience how you feel after every feeling word you read. If you feel the feeling after you read a word then you will know that you have some energy on that feeling. It's not good or bad, it just means that something probably happened early in your life that aroused the feeling and you allowed it to be programmed into your subconscious mind. It could be a part of some type of protection that your subconscious mind set up to protect you. It may be a small protection or a large protection, you will know how powerful the protection is depending on how strong the feeling is when you read the feeling word.
Here is an example of an anxious feeling a child may have because one of their parents made them wrong every time they did something. They become anxious every time they do something because they are afraid the parent is going to criticize what they do. If this is the case most children will create a protection to try and overcome the anxious feeling by becoming overachievers as adults. They overachieve because they feel they need to in order to not be criticized, it's a protection. Or they may do nothing because they have a fear that whatever they do will be wrong and because of that the adult can't figure out why they can't get further in life then they are. All the subconscious mind knows is this; it hurts when someone criticizes them, and if we over achieve two things happen. One, by overachieving no one, should have any reason to criticize and two, by being an overachiever it will be difficult for people to be around us, they will want to stay at a distance. Overachievers are very difficult to be around because they feel that people don't do things right or as good as they do, as a result, people stay at a distance. They get to be exactly what they don't want to be, their parent, critical. They get to do everything themselves. They get to complain and feel sorry for themselves because they are always doing everything themselves, no one ever helps them or dose anything for them, no one cares. Here is the problem, they don't even realize that their subconscious mind set up a protection for them to keep them from getting hurt and they are the ones creating what they are getting. They don't realize they are being critical, stopping people from helping them and driving people away.
For the people that don't do anything because of the fear they will be wrong and criticized, they end up not being the best they can be because being criticized hurts and to not get hurt they will not do anything that could allow them to feel that feeling. By the way, these people could be extremely smart and actually very good at their trade or profession, but they don't do what they need to do in order to get ahead because they are afraid of being criticized.
It isn't that no one cares, it is that no one wants to be around the person that is critical or people don't want to be around a person that does nothing. Just like they did not want to be around the parent that put them down and criticized them. It is because by being around them we know that whatever we do will not be right and that doesn't feel good. As a result, the protection works, it keeps people away because we don't want to be criticized or the person we are involved with does nothing. For the person that is afraid that someone will criticize them, the feeling word criticize is on the feeling list and will create a strong feeling when they read it.
Now that we know what protections are, How and Why they
are there, the next thing we must know is there are good
and bad protections as we become adults. I am going to
give you a few examples of protections I had as a child,
one became an unwanted behavior that harmed me and the
other is still protecting me as an adult, which I like
and I am not willing to get rid of.
To help understand these protections better I will explain the difference between good and bad protections as an adult. One of them is a protection I still use as an adult and would never want to get rid of and the other one was harmful to me as an adult, which I have since gotten rid of because it was keeping me from getting ahead. I had many other protections that my subconscious mind created for me as a child. Just a few of them I still have, but most of them I have desolved because they were harmful and kept me from getting something I needed or wanted.
The first example is a protection I created as a child which was automatic it appears whenever it looks like I may get physically hurt. Of all my protections it was the most powerful one I had. If I would not have had it I don't think I would have survived and been here today. As a child I did not know I had this protection, I thought it just was a part of me and I did not know any better, it just appeared when it was needed and was gone when the situation was over.
As I began to understand protections I realized that I had this powerful protection, along with other ones, but this one protected me the strongest. Once I realized I had it I could see how it protected me as a child and how it still protects me as an adult. So, as an adult I still have the protection and I happen to like it, I still use it as an adult whenever I need it, but now I know it is there, why it was put there by my subconscious mind and I can now use it as an adult whenever I need it. It is no longer automatic and no longer controls me, I am now consciously in control of it and I can make it come and go whenever I choose.
Since I was never aware of this protection as a child and even as an adult I never realized that my conscious mind had no control over it. Whatever we create as a protection as a child our conscious mind loses control in that area of our life, the subconscious mind is in total control. That's why it is so important to know what our protections are in order to be able to make a decision as to whether we want to keep them or not. Weather they are good for us or harmful for us. If we are aware of them then we know if they are helping us or have they become unwanted behaviors and harming us.
They can be deleted at any time we want through hypnosis once we decide we no longer want them and they are no longer beneficial for us as an adult. This decision has to be a conscious decision, not a subconscious decision because the conscious mind is the mind that knows whether these protections are good or bad for us as an adult. If we cannot make a conscious decision to delete them or we are confused about deleting them, then nothing can be done in the hypnosis process to rid a person of the protection or unwanted behavior, even though the protection is keeping the person from getting something or achieving something they want. That person must know the protection is there and must be sure they want to delete it or rid themselves of the unwanted behavior that is keeping people away from them and keeping them from being their best.
There must be a conscious decision as to whether the protection is more important in protecting them or it is more important to get what they need and want. The problem is we can only have one or the other, we can't have both. Remember the protection keeps people at a distance unconsciously and when that happens the conscious mind is out of control. Our conscious mind has no power over the protection, remember a protection is really a negative feeling and as a result, we consciously are out of control, feelings have all the power.
Now let us get back to my powerful protection. It was created because I was cross-eyed as a child and almost all of my peers would make fun of me. I remember it was really painful and hurt deeply. It hurt so bad that I would get into fist fights with whoever tried to make fun of me. After I got hurt emotionally and physically a few times my subconscious mind decided to set up this protection for me so that I would not get into so many fistfights and get hurt both emotionally and physically, the pain was too much. I remember exactly when I programmed the protection into my hard drive, I got into a fight with a set of twins and I got hurt badly both emotionally and physically. What was programmed into my subconscious mind at that moment was this, whenever there was a remote possibility of my getting hurt in any way I would become so angry that my facial expressions would become so scary, ugly and mean, plus my voice would have a pitch that would scare away anyone who even had a slight thought of hurting me in any way. This protection really scared them before they would go any further and my peers stopped making fun of me.
This protection was so powering that the fight I had with the twins was the last fight I ever had during my remaining childhood. These facial expressions and voice were so powerful that I scared and frightened my peers before a fight ever began, the protection stopped them from making fun of me and as a result, there was no need for a fight.
This protection is so powerful that even today as an adult I use it. I now use it as a benefit instead of a liability and that is because my conscious mind is in control of the once protection, not my subconscious mind. Just recently I used it to stop a charging Rottweiler dog from attacking me, that's how powerful it is. The protection, which is my facial expressions and my voice actually scared and frightened the dog which caused it to stop about five feet in front of me and stay there and not attacked. The dog just stood at a five-foot distance from me and growled and barked until its owner came and leashed it. I can tell you that without this protection the dog would have torn me apart. I know I would have been in the hospital getting multiple stitches in different parts of my body. So, you can see why I love this protection, it not only keeps people at a distance when I consciously want to keep them at a distance but it will keep a charging dog from attacking me. I hope you can see why I am not willing to delete it, how it protected me throughout my life and still does as an adult.
As children we create many protections that we should delete because they are stopping us in so many ways that affect a positive part of our lives. As I began to understand protections I realized I had many protections blocking me and keeping the things I wanted away and I had to delete many of them. The best way to delete them is through hypnotherapy and if we are ready they can be deleted very easily and quickly through the process and that is what I specialize in with my work.
One of the protection I deleted was also a part of my having been made fun of as a child. It actually was created before I created the scary protection. It was also created to protect me from getting hurt emotionally and physically except it was not as powerful as the scary one, but it worked in its own way. It had one big problem; it became a burden to me as an adult. It was not like the scary protection that protected me as an adult when I needed it, this protection kept me blocked and kept me from getting what I wanted. Once I understood how protections worked and became aware of this protection, I realized it was very harmful to me and it was no longer protecting me. Remember protections are just really negative feelings and you can visit the feeling list at the end of this article. I also realized that as an adult there was no way this protection could ever be beneficial for me, it was time to delete it, which I did through hypnotherapy.
The protection I needed to get rid I called my INVISIBLE PROTECTION. The way it protected me as a child was this way, whenever I thought someone would harm me I would actually become invisible, in other words, whenever I felt I could get hurt, this protection would almost make me invisible, it was ten times more powerful than a shy protection, I was invisible. What it did was this, I became quiet, I automatically stood behind something, I made sure no one knew I was there, I dressed in very plain clothes, I was invisible. I could become so invisible that I would go to a party where my friends were and the next day many of them would ask me why I didn't come to the party.
As an adult this protection kept me from being noticed when I was trying to get ahead, whether I was trying to get ahead in my job, being noticed by the opposite sex, being picked out of a group for something or even being in a group picture, it seemed like I was never seen. It just kept me from getting anywhere; it was like a big wall that was standing in front of me which always kept me from getting ahead. I couldn't get ahead because no one knew I was there, I wasn't seen. It was really important for me to delete this protection and the moment I did I started to become noticed and visible, I no longer felt the wall and I started getting ahead in many of the things I was trying to do in different areas of my life. It was like a new world for me or a new beginning.
This is why it is so important to identify the feelings that are causing your protections, become aware of them, see how they are affecting you as an adult, are they helping you or are they harmful to you because 95 percent of them become unwanted behaviors and they will stop you from getting what you want and being the best you can be.
There are many protections that are easily identified. Here are a few that can be identified easily, shyness, procrastination, perfectionist, angry and intimidation but of course there are hundreds more.
There are also many protections that are not easy to identify and here are a few along with the explanation as to why the protections will keep us at a distance, they are, someone that is always BUSY, when someone who is always busy doesn't have time to let people near them because they are too busy, plus who wants to be around a person who is always busy, they are always hard to talk to because they are on the run and never with you, their mind is somewhere else, many times you feel like you have to help them and that is not what you want to do, you feel guilty for just wanting to sit and talk to them and not do anything.
Someone who is always in a HURRY. When we are around someone who is always in a hurry we feel like we have to be in a hurry just to be around them, we may feel anxious and we will find ourselves wanting to follow them around in a constant rush and after a while we begin to stay away because someone that makes us feel hurried is hard to be around, we end up staying our distance.
Someone that is always LATE. When someone is always late, after a while we start avoiding them because who wants to wait around for someone all the time, we get upset because we could have been doing something else, they take our choice away from us, we stop making plans with them because it is frustrating to have to wait for someone and we start staying our distance.
Someone that is MESSY. For many of us being around a messy person can be depressing and who wants to feel depressed and in the dumps, it's a terrible feeling. It doesn't take long before we stop seeing them, they will keep us at a distance.
For someone that is a KNOW IT ALL, is very difficult being around because your opinion has no value, it seems like you are always wrong, no matter what you say, they know better, they know it all and after a while you stay away from them because it is no fun always being wrong, you keep your distance. These are just some of the more subtle protections that may be hard to detect
They are hundreds of easy protections to identify and there are hundreds of subtle or hard protections to identify but they all keep people at a distance, keep them from getting close to us, and keeps us from getting hurt. You may have some of each, your friends may have some of each and your next door neighbor may have some of each, but we all have some whether the protections are easy or hard to discover.
The way you know someone is exerting their protection towards you, you will not want to be there, you will find it hard being with them or around them, they could possibly make you feel a hurt feeling, you are not sure but something doesn't feel right or the situation is strained or stressed. All I can tell you is this, if it doesn't feel comfortable for you being around a person, then the chances are they have one of their protections in force. Some people have them in force all the time and others have them in force only when they need them or feel they might get hurt because you are getting too close.
I have an associate of mine who is always, always is in a hurry, never at a normal pace, so his protection is always in force. He has a lot of other great attributes that are important to me and since I know his hurriedness is a protection, I accept it. Although sometimes when I feel it getting to me I tell him that I don't feel comfortable with his being in a hurry, I need him to slow down his being in a hurry, it's too much work for me to be around him. I finally realized years ago that I am not put on this earth to change people's protections because I can't and as a result, I am not here to change my associate's protection of being in a hurry, plus he doesn't know his hurrying is a protection. I don't tell him that his hurriedness is a protection because he wouldn't hear me anyway, since he doesn't know it is a protection he would think I am making him wrong and I don't want to do that.
When you first meet a person it is important to find out what their attributes are, decide if they are beneficial for you, do you like their attributes and do their attributes out weight their protections because ninety nine percent of us have one or more protections and over time those protections will want to drive you away. Next, you will want to discover what their protections are and are the protections too difficult for you to be around. If you decide the attributes out weight the protections and you can live with their protections, you will find it possible to push yourself closer to them even though the protections are pushing you away at the same time and that is because you accept them and once you know them and accept them, then you know how to work around them, it is simple. You will find it easier to put yourself closer to them without getting hurt because you are aware of the protection, you know you did nothing wrong, the reason you feel pushed away has nothing to do with you and it is nothing personal. Just knowing you are not doing the pushing that can allow you to stay in the relationship much easier.
LISTED BELOW IS A LIST OF PROTECTIONS AND FEELING WORDS
A PROTECTION LIST
This is a list of some of the protections that people use to keep other people at a distance and keep them from being hurt. There are hundreds more.
Always in a Hurry
Know It All
Lack of Constration
Looking at other things when talking to someone
Not Being Responsible For Self
Not aware of what is going on around you
Responsible for other people